blonde jokes

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A blonde was sitting at a bar in no mood for any conversation. A young man approached her and said he would ask her a question and if she could answer he would pay her 2$ and if not she would pay him 2$. She refused to play but he pestered her till she finally agreed just to shut him up. He asked her the name of the longest river in the world. She didn’t know the answer and handed him the 2$ hoping he would leave her alone. But he didn’t. He started pestering her for a question. Finally, he said, “Ask me a question and if I cannot answer I will pay you 300$.”. She asked him what was red in the morning and pink at night. That got him thinking and she quietly moved to the other end of the bar hoping to be rid of him. 15 minutes passed and he approached her and handed over 300$. “I give up. Please tell me the answer.”, he said. Silently she handed him 2$. Needless to say, he didn’t bother her again.
#Blonde #SmartBlonde #Bar
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Three girls were browsing through things at the back of the thrift store when they stumbled upon a magic lamp. A genie came out of it and offered them a wish each. The first one wished that she were a full scholarship student at the best university in the country. The genie granted her wish and she vanished. The second wished to be on a permanent vacation on her own tropical island. Granted. She vanished. The third girl, a blonde, looked around and sighed saying, “ Aww! I wish my friends were back with me!” Granted. End of story.
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The blonde was at store browsing amongst the curtains. The salesgirl asked her if she needed help. She replied that she was looking for small curtains for her computer. The clerk was puzzled and asked why her computer would need curtains. The blonde replied, “Because it has windows of course!”
#BlondeCurtains #BlondeJoke
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A blonde needed to buy a book and went to the library. She walked in and asked the lady at the desk if she could buy a book. The lady whispered back that it was a library. The blonde whispered back, “Oh! I’m sorry for being loud. May I buy a book.”
#BlondeLibrary #BlondeJoke
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The blonde rushed to her doctor and declared that she was pregnant with twins. The doctor asked how she knew that. She replied that she had bought a twin pack pregnancy tests and both the tests were positive.
#PregnantBlonde #BlondeJoke
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One summer, a man found his blonde girlfriend sweating and painting the garden fence wearing two fur coats. He asked her why. She said that the paint instructions said that for best results one should use two coats.
#BlondePaintingFence #BlondeJoke
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A blonde went to the gym and consulted with a fitness instructor for a plan to lose weight. The fitness instructor gave her a meal plan and told her to work out at the gym for an hour three times a week and skip the other days. The blonde came in for a review after a month and had lost an astonishing amount of weight. The instructor was intrigued and asked her for details on her daily meals and activities. She replied that she quite enjoyed the diet and the gym but that skipping all day on four days a week was extremely difficult.
#BlondeExercise #BlondeJoke
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A blonde was tired of blonde jokes and dyed her hair black. She walked into a store where there was a contest where the person who guessed the correct number of coins in a jar would win a million dollars and a TV of their choice. She made a wild guess and guessed the number of coins correctly. She won the contest. The store owner was horrified that he would have to part until he saw the ‘TV’ she had chosen. He approached her and challenged her to a bet that she should return the million dollars if he correctly guessed her hair color. She could keep the microwave she had chosen.
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The interviewer asks the blonde, “You were born in?”
She replies, “ Australia.”
He asks her, “Which part?”
She replies, “All of me of course.”

#BlondeInterview #BlondeJoke
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Why did the blonde go to the paint and hardware store? 
She wanted to get thinner.
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