lawyer jokes

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A young couple on their way to their wedding met with a fatal car accident and got transported to St. Peter’s gates wedding clothes and all. Before they were admitted through the pearly gates they asked if they could please be married in heaven. St. Peter told them to wait and they waited for what seemed like forever till he returned with a priest in tow. Before they started the ceremony the bride took St. Peter aside and asked him, “In case the marriage doesn’t work can we get a divorce in heaven?”. St. Peter threw his hands in the air and replied, “It was hard enough to find a priest in heaven. What are the chances of a lawyer here?”.
#Wedding #Marriage #Lawyer #Heaven
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The lawyer examining a doctor kept asking pointed questions to prove that a patient was wrongly certified as dead. He asked how the doctor could certify him as dead without re-verifying for a pulse and breathing before writing the death certificate. The irritated doctor finally exclaimed, “Well since his entire brain had already been removed from his skull I could have presumed that he could have been alive and a practicing lawyer!”.

#Lawyer #Doctor
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What do you call a lawyer who is not very smart?
Your honor of course!

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There was a mix up at the pearly gates and the wrong people got assigned to heaven and hell. God called the Devil and ordered him to set things right and to send the wrongly assigned people right back to heaven. The Devil laughed and said, “No!”. God got very angry and threatened him, “I’ll sue you!”. The devil laughed even harder, “When will you ever get a lawyer?”.
#Lawyer #HeavenHell
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