bar jokes

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A blind woman visiting Texas for the first time feels very disoriented as everything that she experience is larger than she is used to. She marvels at her room and is told, “Everything is bigger in Texas”. Her bed is huge. Her food portions are huge and when she goes to the bar even the drinks are huge. When she asks she keeps hearing, “Everything is bigger in Texas”. Finally, a little tipsy, she asks for directions to the restrooms. She mistakes the swimming pool door for the restrooms and walks in only to fall right into the pool. She starts shrieking,” …..Please don’t flush…..Please don’t flush!”
#BiggerInTexas
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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender rolls his eyes at him and hands him a drink and then a mop.
#Skeleton #Drink #Bar
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There was a lady who was sitting at the bar counter just staring at her drink. She sat looking at it for the good part of an hour. Finally, an inquisitive man who had been watching her all evening walked over to her, picked up her drink and swallowed it in three gulps. At this, the lady fainted. The man panicked and picked her up off the floor and after reviving her tried to console her and offered to buy her a drink to replace the one he drank. The lady replied that it wasn’t just the drink and that there was more to it. The man asked her to explain. She replied that she was having the very worst day of her life. Her alarm did not ring and she overslept. She then rushed to her office only to have a flat tire on the way. She reached her office late only to be told that she had been fired. She then hailed a cab and found that she had left her cash wallet at home. She finally walked to a friend’s place, borrowed some money and came to this bar. She had decided to die and was trying to find the strength to drink the poison-laced drink when he had come and swallowed the whole thing. This was the worst day ever!
#Poison #WorstDay
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